I’m not sure if this will turn into a blog or just a verbal journey, but either way, it’s my way of processing and being thankful for the success of today. There’s always so much concern—making this work, solving that problem, getting things done—but navigating through it all, today’s event was a success. That’s what matters.
One thing I’ve learned is that reliability and dependability are core values for me. If someone isn’t reliable, it really affects the relationship, and honestly, that can be hard to deal with. It’s such a bad way to live, and I pray I’m not that way to others. I’m actively working to be better, but sometimes it’s frustrating. Simple things become complicated, and it’s exhausting. People often set limitations on themselves, and it’s challenging to understand why they don’t push past those limits.
For me, this path of improvement led to an emotional moment today. I found myself crying, even if just briefly, because I was questioning what I’m asking God for. Mark 11:24 says, “Therefore I say to you, whatever things you ask when you pray, believe that you receive them, and you will have them.” I realized I’m asking to be better, to be more than I am right now. But it feels like I’m not improving fast enough. I’m so quick to notice my mistakes—like I could write a whole book about them—but rarely do I acknowledge my successes, the progress I’ve made.
I have to remind myself to thank God for where I am and how far He’s brought me. His grace, protection, and help are constant, even when I stress over things that eventually work out. Today, someone asked if I was still me because they didn’t recognize me—they hadn’t seen me since January, and I look different now. That got me thinking about how I change every year. Ever since I first cut my hair in 2012, my look has been evolving. It’s not rapid change, just a natural progression over time. I went from short hair to a pixie cut, had to do damage control on a bad haircut, then grew it out in the military, went natural, did locks, unlocked them, and now I’ve gone back to relaxed hair. It’s been a journey.
That change in appearance is symbolic of my internal growth as well. I’ve changed, progressed, and gotten better in some areas. God continues to mold me, and I need to lean on His strength more. My strength is limited; His is not. I’ve been trying to do things my way, but it doesn’t work and makes life harder than it needs to be.
We do what we have to do to win. Success isn’t always pretty; most of the time, it’s messy. The only time life was perfect was in the Garden of Eden. After that, everything got ugly. Jesus dying on the cross—that was ugly, but it was the ultimate success. He won, and that’s a reminder that even in our struggles, there’s victory.
I was also reminded today of how multifaceted I am. I don’t share much of myself with people. I’m not a sharer by nature, and I don’t go around asking deep questions, trying to figure people out. But I was sharing my love for bugs today, and someone said I missed my calling. They were just joking, but it made me reflect. No, I didn’t miss my calling. I can enjoy these things without needing them to define me. I can have hobbies and interests, but my purpose is beyond that.
I find joy in the little things, like catching a green June bug or holding a beetle. It’s not about fear or “what if this bites me?” It’s about appreciating God’s creations. I’m amazed that God put gold on a bug! I saw a golden tortoise beetle in the gym last month, and it was the cutest thing. I picked it up, admired it, and set it free outside. Those moments remind me to enjoy life’s simple pleasures and continue creating the space I need, both online and in real life.
So, if you’ve found me here, on this side of the internet, welcome. I don’t push my content onto people, but if you’re here, I’m grateful. It’s another step in this journey, and I’m glad to share it with you.
Here are three key takeaways:
- Growth is often slow and imperfect, but it’s important to acknowledge progress: While it’s easy to focus on mistakes, recognizing even small steps forward is crucial for personal development.
- Leaning on faith and God’s strength can provide clarity and peace: Trying to navigate life using only personal strength can lead to frustration, but trusting in God’s unlimited power brings relief and purpose.
- Success doesn’t always look pretty, but it’s part of the journey: Achievements, like life’s changes, can be messy, but even in the difficult or “ugly” moments, there’s progress and growth that lead to eventual success.
[Spoken by me/written by ChatGPT]
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