PbyCj

So very interesting. I’ve struggled with time management—not for a long period of my life, but definitely over the last couple of years. That wasn’t really an issue before, but then again, I was doing less. That’s another topic in itself. As a multi-faceted person juggling multiple things, time management has been a huge struggle for me. There are so many tools out there, but none seemed to fit.

I’ve done some research on how productivity flow really works. If it were up to me, I’d like to go hard every day, 100% nonstop. That’s what I think I want—but that’s not the reality. My focus levels shift, and sometimes my clearest, most productive hours show up after midnight. That doesn’t line up with an 8 to 5 work schedule. So it’s been a journey figuring out how to make time management work with me, not against me—something that supports my lifestyle instead of hinders it.

But here’s the kicker. Alongside those time struggles, I was also dealing with a low level of self-love. Call it low self-esteem, self-worth, or whatever else, but I know it was hard to love myself. Facing myself in writing was uncomfortable. I didn’t like me. I didn’t love me. And honestly, not loving yourself is unbiblical—it’s disobedience in the love walk. That hit me hard.

When I think about it now, not loving myself spilled over into how I managed my time. Because if I didn’t love or respect myself, why would I respect my time? Instead of caring enough to pace myself, I’d cram an entire semester’s worth of work into one night, stay up until four in the morning, and then show up at work at eight. Maybe I could get away with that once upon a time, but now? No. It’s a new day, baby. And this isn’t it.

Lately, I’ve been averaging post-midnight bedtimes for weeks at a time, and my body feels it. That’s not healthy, not respectful to myself, and not sustainable. And honestly, if I keep sacrificing my well-being, I can’t show up fully for others either. Am I still functioning? Sure. But am I at my best? No. And I don’t want to feel like this anymore. That’s a new kind of self-care for me—choosing to manage my time as a way to love myself.

That shift in perspective is powerful. Forget productivity hacks and hustle culture. Time management is love. It’s respect. It’s stewardship. This is how I care for myself today: by managing my time. This is how I respect myself. This is how I honor God, because my life is valuable. And for so long, I didn’t see the value of my own life. How can I say I see value in others but not in myself? That’s not real.

Back in 2021, when I first started this inner work, I used to write: I am worth the work. I didn’t always believe it then, but I see now that it’s true. I am worth better time management. I am worth being disciplined. I am worth order, peace, and the fruits of my labor. I am worth the life God promised me. Jesus wouldn’t have died for me if I wasn’t worth it.

So yes, time management has been a struggle, but the deeper truth is that the real struggle wasn’t time at all—it was love. Learning to love myself, to see my worth, to care for my life the way God does. And now I know: time management isn’t just about productivity. It’s about love. Breaking news: love thyself.

And that changes everything.