PbyCj

Business lady walking down the street—got places to go. Anyways. Anyways, let me take a quick moment, like I always do. Quick moments are the little breaths of life where I just have to pause and reflect. And today, I’m just thankful. Thankful for life. Again.

Being thankful for life is no small thing over here. It’s a big thing. Huge. Because I used to be the person who took life for granted—just existence as a whole. I took it all for granted. Back when I was battling those suicidal thoughts, sinking deep in depression, just not with it. Life felt like a thing to endure rather than a gift to cherish. And seeing the good? Seeing God’s goodness? That was hard. But praise God, He didn’t give up on me. He keeps working with your girl, clearly.

Yesterday, though? Whew, I didn’t like yesterday. Not one bit. It wasn’t what I wanted it to be. I didn’t like how it started, how it flowed, what didn’t get done, how I acted—none of it. The whole day just felt off. It probably looked fine to everyone else, like, “Oh, Charity’s doing her normal thing.” But inside? Inside, it wasn’t it.

I ended up falling asleep in my chair last night. Knocked out. Didn’t even know I fell asleep. I woke up super early, around 4 a.m., and as usual, I had all these alarms set to go off. But do I get up when the alarms go off? No. I hit snooze or let them blare while I lay there. That’s been my challenge—getting up early.

But this morning was different. I felt God ask me: What is it that you want? Is this what you want? And I couldn’t escape it. I kept hearing it: Is this what you want? And I had to be honest—no, this isn’t what I want. I don’t want another day like yesterday. I don’t want to be unprepared, unorganized, distracted, or aimless. I don’t want to live like that.

I have this checklist I made last week. It’s simple, just a few things I need to do before I leave the house—things that fill my cup and help me stay on point. When I do it fully, it takes about two hours (and doesn’t even include working out, which I still need to squeeze in somewhere). But today, I got closer to completing it than I ever have.

One of the things on my list is to read before I leave the house. I didn’t have much time this morning—just five minutes. So, I told Alexa, “Set a five-minute timer,” and I stuck to it. That’s all I had, and it worked. It worked.

What stood out to me this morning was this: What do you want out of this day? Because God created this day for me, not the other way around. So, what do I want from it? That’s a shift for me. I’ve spent so much of my life reacting to the day instead of creating it.

And here’s the thing—I realized the other day that I get what I want. Like, I really do. When I know what I want, I go for it, and I get it. The problem is figuring out what I want in the first place. That’s the challenge. But this morning, I decided: I don’t want to live willy-nilly. I don’t want to be careless with my time, my thoughts, my actions, or my purpose.

I want to be intentional. Purposeful. Every day. In every area of my life. No more meaningless, fruitless days. I want my life to bear fruit. I want my thoughts to align with what I’m doing. I want my interactions—with others and with myself—to matter.

And here’s the truth: God has daily loaded me with benefits. Where they at, though? Where are my benefits? I’m ready to recognize and claim them because they’re here for me.

So, today is a new day. It’s a gift. And I’m going to be intentional with it. Because this is the day the Lord has made, and I will rejoice and be glad in it. Period.

What do you want from today?

Let’s live it on purpose.