PbyCj

Today was one of those days that tests you. I received two phone calls, almost back to back. One brought good news, expected good news, and I smiled as I listened. The second call? Not so good. It was the kind of conversation where you’re only presented with two options, neither of which felt beneficial. As I listened to what was being said, I realized that the only way to come out of the situation—truly come out of it in a way that works for me—would be to do something that feels impossible.

And here’s the thing: when I asked the person, “So what is it?” they said, “If you can do that, then you’re fine.” That was it. Okay. And the call ended.

It was like something clicked in me.

I’ve felt this before—this feeling of being stuck. I remember being a teenager and recognizing my potential, but it felt locked inside of a shell. I was inside that shell, unable to break free. Even when I left for the military and achieved levels of success, I still wasn’t living fully. That shell was still there, and I didn’t know how to break it.

For the past two or three years, I’ve not only been inside that shell again, but I let other things come in with me—things that had no business being there. Fear. Doubt. Depression. Oppression. I let those things take up space, and I didn’t deal with what I needed to when I should have. If I had, I wouldn’t be in this position now. But I’m not going to live in the land of woulda, coulda, shoulda. I won’t do that.

Because here’s the truth: today, I didn’t hear impossible. I didn’t hear no. I didn’t hear it can’t happen. I heard something that seems impossible—yes—but seems isn’t the same as is. And I know this much: with man, things might seem impossible, but with God? All things are possible.

God has shown me before. He’s brought me through situations where it looked like there were no options, no way out, no way forward. But my God has always made a way out of no way. Always.

And here’s the other truth I remembered: pressure breaks the shell. Pressure is the thing that pushes us, that forces us to grow. And in my case, that pressure? It’s good. It’s necessary.

I’m not giving in to fear. I’m not letting depression win. I’m not losing, and I’m certainly not failing. I’m moving forward. I’m breaking out. And I’m thankful for today—because even in the bad news, there’s still hope.

That shell I’ve been living in? It’s already cracked under the pressure. And this time? I’m not going back inside.

I’ll leave it at that.