PbyCj

Okay, so I posted something the other day about not minding being alone—but still wanting to know what companionship feels like. To really experience that. That thought came after watching an interview where people were talking about their strong support systems—friends, community, people they could talk to. I admire that. I’d like to experience that kind of closeness in my own life.

It made me reflect on something from my past. Growing up, especially in my teenage years, I didn’t really spend time with my peers. Outside of school, I kept to myself. I wasn’t interested in doing what everyone else was doing, and the conversations just didn’t connect with me. But what I did enjoy—what really engaged me—were the conversations I had with older people, usually 30 to 50 years older. That was where I felt most understood. I didn’t think much about it at the time, but now as an adult, I see that pattern hasn’t changed much.

Most of my communication today is work-related. I spend most of my time in “business mode.” I rarely talk about myself or my personal life—it’s just not something I do easily. For me, there has to be a sense of safety before I open up. And when I do share, it’s usually surface-level. The deeper parts of me, I tend to express creatively—through my writing, my blogs, my art. That’s how I share myself with the world.

But lately, I’ve noticed something interesting. When I do have personal, meaningful conversations, they’re usually with people who are 65 and older. And that made me stop and think. I realized I still don’t have much in common with most people my age—not because I don’t want to, but because our experiences are just different. I’ve lived through things that many my age haven’t, so they can’t always relate.

Recently, I had a conversation with someone older who completely understood what I was saying. They had lived it too. And that moment—it made me feel seen. Truly understood. That doesn’t happen often for me. Most of the time, I feel out of place or misunderstood. But that day, something clicked.

Maybe I’ve been looking at this whole idea of companionship and connection the wrong way. Maybe it’s not about finding people my age who “should” understand me. Maybe it’s about recognizing that I connect best with people whose hearts and experiences mirror my own—no matter how old they are.

And honestly, that realization gave me peace. Because while I may be young in age, my life experience has matured me. And that’s okay.