PbyCj

Baby Shower Meatballs

It’s cloudy out. The temperature’s been low all week, and today is what I’m going to call textured. Not smooth, not shiny — maybe a little spark, maybe a little sparkle, but mostly just texture. There’s a little precipitation sitting on the horizon, on top of an already textured week, and I’m looking at it thinking: what if it started raining meatballs?

What if. What would life even look like if things like that could happen?

And then of course I have to know what kind. Saucy meatballs? Baby shower meatballs? Because if it’s baby shower meatballs, that’s lit. That would be exciting. Baby shower meatballs. That would be great.

Now say everything’s edible. Nothing goes bad, nothing’s bad. So what if it hits the windshield — fine, because these are anti-germ, anti-bad meatballs. Baby shower meatballs, specifically, falling from the sky.

And why stop there. Say it’s the whole baby shower menu coming down. The meatballs, the little sandwiches. I don’t eat eggs, but deviled eggs are coming down too, or whatever they call them. That would be so interesting. Such a turn of events, because who is expecting meatballs to fall from the sky? I think that would be such a bend of reality that the world would actually be fascinated.

And I think about the setting. The current climate of life. Baby shower meatballs as a strategy to seek peace and pursue it.

It’s developing here. I’m working with it. I’m working with it.

Inside Out

For some time now I’ve been doing things backwards. Outside in, instead of inside out. And the truth is, the real progress I’ve made has always come from within — and lately I haven’t been doing the inner work to get the results I actually want to see in my life.

I come across this realization often. But coming across it isn’t the same as it registering, and it registering isn’t the same as consistent action. Consistent action is what I want. Being consistent in the things that work, the things that are good, beneficial, helpful — the things that are a blessing to others too. And those things don’t come from thinking about them. They don’t come from wanting or desiring to do them.

The word says it’s God who works in us, both to will and to do for His good pleasure. But I find I don’t open myself up enough for Him to do that work in me. And that’s tied to not growing spiritually — not taking my walk to another level. Draw near to God, and He draws near to you. I haven’t always drawn near, and He’s continued to be gracious toward me anyway. I have to pray about that.

Because I don’t want a mechanical relationship with God anymore. I don’t want the same old, same old. I don’t want to watch life go in circles — not progressing, not passing the test of faith, just stuck. Not growing.

And growing spiritually is the one thing no one can do for me. People can pray for me. I can receive from them. But no one can do that part for me.

It’s May, going into June. I want to see the end of this year being far better than the beginning. I want to be better at the things that challenge me. But I understand I can’t be better in my own strength — only better in Him. Not me trying to figure it all out at home and do it all well without ever seeking God for help, for guidance, for listening.

So it’s about being more intentional. More purposeful in how I communicate with God, and about what actually pleases Him. It’s a mindset. Understanding His purpose.